Stories have been used throughout time to connect to the human experience, and there is a lot we can learn from adopting a “main character mindset.” By understanding storytelling and the hero’s journey, we can reframe struggles, build resilience, and foster self-compassion, ultimately supporting personal growth and mental health.
But how can we apply these concepts in our own lives?
The Power of Storytelling in Mental Health
Why We Are Drawn to Stories
Dr. Jonathan Gottschall, in his book The Storytelling Animal, explores how storytelling shapes our experiences. He argues that stories help us navigate life’s complex problems and prepare us for difficult situations.
Storytelling is present all throughout human history, from ancient cave paintings to modern fantasy epics, storytelling has been a fundamental way for humans to connect, learn, and grow. Stories not only act as guides but also expand our ability to conceptualize our own lives, deepen our empathy, and make sense of our struggles.
Reframing Life as a Narrative
Therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Narrative Therapy leverage personal storytelling to reshape how we see ourselves.
- CBT helps reframe negative thought patterns. For example, instead of believing, “I always fail,” you can reframe the thought as, “I may fail or succeed on this next test.”
- Narrative Therapy allows you to “re-author” your story, externalizing problems and seeing your struggles as part of a larger narrative of resilience and growth. For example, you may take the idea of “I always fail” and rewrite past experience to highlight how those moments have built resilience and growth.
By shifting perspectives, we can learn to view challenges as plot points in our personal stories, rather than defining failures.
The Hero’s Journey: A Framework for Personal Growth
What is the Hero’s Journey?
The “hero’s journey” is a narrative structure developed by Joseph Cambell in his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces. In this structure the protagonist is transformed through a journey and is broken down into four parts.
- Call to Adventure – The hero starts in their “ordinary” world when a challenge arises.
- Trials and Struggles – The hero faces setbacks and challenges.
- Growth and Transformation – The hero’s learnings and self-discovery occur.
- Return with Wisdom – The hero applies their growth to life, often coming out of the challenge victorious.
Applying the Hero’s Journey to Mental Health
Character development, be it that of a hero or ourselves, is necessary in life and often comes from challenges that force us to rise to an occasion and learn from set backs.
We all go through various “chapters” in life. Some chapters focus on learning, some on struggle, and others on victory or healing. Applying the hero’s journey to mental health can help you to take a broader look at where you are at in your current story. Understanding your place in your journey can help you cultivate resilience and self-compassion.
Ask yourself:
- Am I in a chapter meant to build resilience, let go of something, or seek support?
- What lessons have my struggles taught me so far?
- What strengths am I developing as I move through this part of my story?
By reframing your experiences through the lens of the hero’s journey, you can gain a sense of purpose and agency over your narrative.
You’re Not the Supporting Character: Overcoming the Fear of Others’ Opinions
Everyone is Their Own Main Character
Seeing yourself as the main character may be intimidating in some ways, thinking the spotlight is on you and everyone is watching your story, eagerly waiting to see if you will succeed or fail. Social anxiety often stems from the thought that people are paying close attention and judging you. But it is important to remember that everyone is the main character of their own story and people are more often concerned with their own story.
The Spotlight Effect: People Aren’t Watching as Closely as You Think
Research on the Spotlight Effect shows that we overestimate how much others notice our mistakes and insecurities. For example, you may trip and fall in public and feel intense embarrassment, but most people will forget that moment in seconds.
Letting Go of External Validation
While external validation is natural, relying on it too much can hinder personal growth. Instead, ask yourself: Would I judge someone else for this? By shifting your perspective, you can practice self-compassion and recognize that your mistakes are simply part of your character development.
Remembering that you are the main character of your own story gives you power over your narrative and a reminder that everyone is a main character, and you may only be a side character or someone in the background of theirs. Which brings up the importance of secondary characters.
The Importance of Secondary Characters in Your Story
Who Are the Secondary Characters in Your Life?
Most stories have a supporting cast of characters. These characters often create challenges or support the protagonist. Think of the types of characters that may be present in your story:
- Mentors & Guides: Do you have therapists, teachers, or wise friends supporting you?
- Allies & Companions: What family, close friends, or romantic partners have been a part of your story?
- Antagonists & Challenges: What people have forced you to grow or change?
How Secondary Characters Shape Our Growth
Relationships are an important part of the human experience. Positive relationships support us in times of challenge, grant us different perspectives, and help us evolve. Mentors and guides may help guide through transformations like Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker. The “antagonists” in our lives often present obstacles for us to overcome and force us to better understand ourselves and the world around us.
But not every person you pass by in life will be worth writing into your story. So choosing your supporting cast matters.
Choosing Your Supporting Cast Wisely
Life will present you with challenges no matter what you do. Therefore, surrounding yourself with people who uplift you in meaningful ways can play a huge role in how you will face these challenges.
Additionally, letting go of unhealthy relationships that hinder your growth or make life more challenging can be a huge moment for you. Ask yourself: Is this person adding to my story or holding me back?
Main Character Energy: The Psychology of Self-Compassion and Agency
How Seeing Yourself as the Protagonist Builds Resilience
There is a difference in how you view your story, you can be the victim of your life viewing it as “unfair” or you can take on the protagonist mindset and reframe experiences to see how you will grow from it, because the protagonist must discover how to overcome their obstacles.
Research on self-efficacy, the conception of your ability to achieve something, by Albert Bandura shows how believing you have control over your life improves outcomes. When you, as the protagonist, believe you are able to control the outcome of your life, you actually can improve those outcomes.
Self-Compassion Through Character Growth
We have a lot of empathy for the protagonists of stories. We want them to succeed and root for them through struggle, feeling they are deserving of happiness and success. When we view ourselves as the protagonist we can apply this mindset to ourselves, which improves our ability to be self-compassionate.
Research by Dr. Kristine Neff’s on self-compassion shows how treating yourself with self-compassion improves both physical and mental health, and reduces stress, depression, and anxiety.
3 Examples from Popular Media
Characters Who Embody Resilience
- Harry Potter (Harry Potter Series): Faces loss and hardship but grows through mentorship and friendships.
- Miles Morales (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse): Struggles with self-doubt before embracing his unique strengths.
- Aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Must confront past trauma and responsibility while staying true to himself and finding his own way to overcome obstacles.
What We Can Learn from Them
Each of these characters faces challenges, grows, and comes out the other side successful. None of them face an easy path, and all are forced to face their shortcomings in order to be victorious in the end.
We can learn from these stories by seeing what each character struggled with and how they overcame them. All of these characters had supportive side characters who helped them along in their journey. All of these characters had to rely on what made them uniquely themselves to find the strength in those characteristics. All of these characters are imperfect with their own “flaws” that make their stories relatable.
What stories do you look to that have provided you with guidance?
Practical Steps: How to Embrace Your Own Hero’s Journey
Rewriting Your Personal Narrative
Look at your life as a book series. Use the hero’s journey to break down each “book” to explore a specific time in your life. Then break your story down into the different parts of the hero’s journey.
Ask yourself:
- Where did your journey begin?
- What challenges have you faced?
- How have you grown from them?
3 Small Practices for a “Main Character” Mindset
- Journaling: Write about your challenges as though you are the protagonist of a story.
- Mindful Self-Talk: Speak to yourself as kindly as a narrator would describe a beloved character.
- Seek Mentorship: Whether through therapy, books, or trusted individuals, seek guidance from those who can support your journey.
Your Story Isn’t Over
Storytelling shapes our mental health and resilience. By embracing the main character mindset, you can navigate challenges with greater self-compassion and agency.
And when you need support, seek out the right allies. We at Peacefulway Psychology would love to be a part of your hero’s journey. If you’re interested in enlisting a supporting character, reach out here for a free 15-minute consultation, and start your next chapter today.
Remember, this is your story. And it isn’t over—this is just one chapter of your journey.
My goal is to provide a safe and welcoming place for you as you take steps to improve your life and find your own path towards fulfillment and satisfaction. Call or message today to schedule your free phone consultation or arrange your first appointment.